Hi there, what am i should write here about myself?
My nick is Lenaaka Kika Tan. I'm currently 19 in year of 2013, happily taken by Kevin . He's the only one that understanding me, love the way of me, and a very best amazing boyfriend in the world.
I'm not fully finished studies, will entry into University on next year. I'm origin from Brisbane Australia, living in Malaysia now. That's all.

Life is never being perfect if you doesn't try your best change it by yourself :')

Last night, my boyfriend was awaken from his sleep and he's mad at me because it is late and i didn't went to bed have a nap. I'm really sorry that. I have a lot of things that i wanted to write it out in my mind on this live journal blog.

Well, i am was thinking that why he would do these to himself, i'm not really feeling good today because my mind is fucked up after i woke up in 11 am today. Because i am having my menstruation now.  Honestly i feel like i'm a fucking loser. I'm out from this. Trying to be strong. No matter of what, i'm still trying avoid as i can but it's really hard for me.

But, i did promised myself, my boyfriend, and my family that i will never going to make them disappointed and i will try my very best to be a success with my hard work! Because i know that my dad and mom is getting old and i'm growing up. Time doesn't wait for me. It's moving on. So that is mean my life is also moving on and i need to catch up otherwise in the end i will regret doesn't do everything that i wanted to. Make it perfect and you will not regret. Absolutely we only have 1 time live in this world.

I know there have a lot of things that i doesn't like to do and not to do but i force myself to do it better because i want to challenge it so that i can learn it better and gain my confidence.

By the way. Now i'm aiming my goal is getting a good result and get into a better school to make my ambition come true if i can. There is nothing can stop me. I am never get the second regret. Well well,  that's not the easy task guys!

The second thought in my mind is my dad, i'm worry that he can't afford me to go further studies but he always comfort me that he will. Yes dad, i know that you always support me and there for me, you are the best dad ever in the world. I'm so lucky have a dad like you. Very thanks for god that given me a beautiful gift. And my mom, i know she is always get on my nerves with her annoying noise. But i doesn't mind at all because i know that she do it for my own good. She does care about me but she doesn't know how to prove her love toward to me because she afraid it too over protective. Dear mom and dad, thanks for always beside me, and spending a lot of hard works and money on me. I promise i will earn a lot of money and pay for your travels and everything.

The third thought is my boyfriend, i don't know how long i will be together with my boyfriend. Forever? I can't guarantee that because i need time to prove it. I am afraid i will get hurt again and over again but i know he never hurt me. I know that he is a nice guy i ever met, we had been through a lot of different memories. Time gone by a day to a day, i always beside you like a Tinkerbell. Whatever you want it, i will give it to you with my secret magic! Ha ha, but some i can't afford it for you because i'm jobless. So sorry. But i promise one day you will get your dream house with our hard work! Let start work hard and study hard and play hard together until as long as you can. I do trust you 100 percent. No less. I do not worry about my future because i know that you will always beside me. But there a thing i'm to worry about is i afraid that i'm not good enough for you. You are a lovable, loyal, caring, sweet, romantic boyfriend. That's a truth. I do cherish every memories that you gave to me. The moment of you holding my hands, that's so warm. I feel like that i'm a kid and you're father. Ha ha. Cute huh? (;

I know we known each other doesn't long. But i'm trying to understand you, knowing you better and i doesn't mind your attitude. You did done a lot of things for me. I'm really graceful for that. You won my first place in my heart. No lies. That's so fucking true. Please do not do anything that will betray our relationship. Remember that. I doesn't want it too! Because i love you lots as much as i can as much like millions of stars. I'm so sorry that i can't said it properly to you just because i afraid i said it wrongly and will make you think that i'm a asshole sweet talker. But hey, it is real words from bottom of my heart. I love the way you're. I know that you are trying to be the best behalf of me and the parts of my life. Do you know why i doesn't say " I love you too " everyday when u said it to me because i'm afraid one day i will lost you suddenly. No! I hate that feeling. It is really sucks and it like a knife stabbing into my heart, per inch with deep scar. That's my  another fucking phobia. I know everyone does have their own phobia.

They will find their way to challenge and face it and rid off them as soon as possible from their life. SO maybe i do can try it too! It doesn't the big fucking matters. IF i doesn't face it, how i can face a lot of shit problems in the future when it will be happen on me. Ha ha,

Continues....